Don't force it
There are a handful of phrases from my childhood that ring in my ears to this day. I imagine I continue to hear them because they were spoken to me with great repetition. One of those phrases is, in my dad's voice, "DON'T FORCE IT". The phrase is in all caps because his voice was usually "escalated" when he spoke those words to me. I assume his voice was escalated because he was trying to stop me from breaking something. He needed to get my attention quickly so that I would let go of whatever it was that I was "forcing" at the moment. I had a tendency to try to force things to open or close or shift this way or that - to bend to my liking. But then - I would inevitably pull that knob right off of the piece of furniture in my attempt to open the drawer. Or I might push the entire bookshelf over in attempt to shove that last book that was never going to fit on that shelf ... etc. etc. etc.
I hear his voice still, in adulthood, when I need to stop, pause, or relent. When my body is feeling weary and I need to sit down or lie down and close my eyes. Or when I just need to soften my outlook and open my view - step back to see the bigger picture.
I'm hearing his voice again in my mind these past few weeks, "DON'T FORCE IT, KENDJ!" (childhood nickname = Kendj). DON'T FORCE IT. DON'T FORCE IT.
I've lost the creative drive for the blog writing. It's really interesting. It has turned off like a switch. One second on, the next second off. I can feel the difference in a big way. Since I started this blog in April, I've had a lot of juicy energy flowing through me and out onto the page. I could wake up early or stay up late to write - write - write. And it felt right, and it felt good. The intention that I set for the blog those six months ago was to carve out a discipline to put myself in that creative space because I had a lot discomfort over the fact that I had no creative outlet. I knew that if I gave myself the assignment of a weekly blog post, a lot of creative magic would bubble up to the surface. I had a lot of questions, and I was setting out to find the answers. The purpose of the blog was to create a space where the answers were allowed to surface.
Well - as you know from recent blog posts - the answers have come. I love the idea of creating a furnishings and houseware brand around my childhood perceptions of my grandmothers, 'Kate and Lorraine' .
Now here's the key. When an answer shows up, you must accept it. You must acknowledge that an answer has arrived - and now you must open your door to allow it in, to receive it. Welcome it into your space, take it's coat and hand it a nice cup of tea. You make it feel wanted and let it know you're happy and grateful for it's arrival. "Sit and stay a while", is what you should say. That is how you should receive your answer.
I set that first intention for the blog, and the blog has most certainly already served up its purpose. (THANK YOU, BLOG!!!) So now, I need to spend some time with the answer, and in time, set a new intention for the blog.
This month's blog theme is 'Harvest' . The first blog post was about harvesting clarity. I have more clarity, only six months after launching the blog, than I could have ever dreamed to ask for when I set that intention back in April. The second blog post this month was about this super fun "side hustle" of upcycling furniture and re-selling at a sweet little "Backroom Vintage" shop in town. Talk about a harvest. Again - I am amazed at the inspired projects that I find myself swimming in these days. The reason I didn't publish a blog post this past week is because I was caught up the joys of giving a tired-old thrift bookcase a facelift and obsessing over these crisp little gold, gray, and ivory striped details (!) Do you know how difficult that is? I am now on a mission to master it. But I digress...
As I was honing my crisp-stripe-painting skill over the weekend, I kept brushing away the nagging blog post deadline. I felt bad about this, but I really wasn't drawn to the writing like I had been the previous six months. I could hear my dad's voice, "DON'T FORCE IT".
So here we are. Harvest Season. I'm harvesting clarity and answers and inspired creativity. I've learned that this blog is a pretty magical space where my intentions are served up on a beauiful gold, gray, and ivory striped platter. It's time to set a new intention for this space.
More to come.